This isn't the Movies. This is Real.
by Blackfoot
Summary: I HAD to post this see, I'm still here! Snape transports everyone to wild west, and is challenged to a gun fight, Humor not much, there's some


  
  
  
THIS ISN'T THE MOVIES, THIS IS REAL.  
BY SNAPE FAN  
  
A/N: I lied. I had to put this story on!!! I reread my western series and thought- what the heck is this? so I'm thinking up my own stuff as I type. I don't own the Harry Potter cast I do own Strider, Billy the Kid, and Esmerlda. I don't own the Back to the Future car. Who does? + this means thoughts.  
  
Harry Potter, Ron Weasely, Hermione Granger, along with Professors, Mcgonagall, Dumbledore, and Snape, approached the strange car carefully- er all except Snape.  
  
+ What the? Dumbledore thought.  
  
+ It's a thingy! Ron.  
  
+ 2x4=8, where'd that come from? Hermione.  
  
+ Anyone home? Harry and Mcgonagall.  
  
and finally....  
  
+ Yes! I always wanted to see this sucker up close! Snape. He just watched Back to the Future" for the who gives a dangdth time.  
  
Walking over to the car's window, Snape knocked.  
  
" Severus, you half- wit, do you know who or what could be in that car?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
" Yes," Snape said getting annoyed at how little Dumbledore knew about Muggle films. " Christopher Lloyd and Michel J. Fox."  
  
" Who?" Mcgonagall, Ron, and Dumbledore asked.  
  
" Never mind!" Snape said getting in the car.  
  
The remaining people stared.  
  
" WHAT?!" Snape demanded.  
  
" Um.." Harry started.  
  
" You can explain the details on the way." Snape said stuffing everyone into the small car.  
  
" Okay. I saw how this thing works, once." Snape said from the driver's seat.  
  
  
" Oh * that's * comforting!" Mcgonagall snapped.  
  
Snape set the date thingy to the year 1837.  
  
The car took off.  
  
" Yeeh- haw!" Snape and Harry shouted.  
  
" Have either of you had any sugar at all before we left?" Ron asked.  
  
" No." said Harry.  
  
" I had a Snicker's before we left!" Snape said.  
  
" Great we're trapped in a car being driven to who knows where... By the Potions Master... Who is high on sugar!" Dumbledore said.  
  
" Would that mean I can get a raise?" Snape asked.  
  
" NO!"  
  
" Ah, bugger!"  
  
The car stopped.  
  
Ron found a sign just as everyone was getting out of the car.  
  
" Welcome to Reno! Yay Come on Harry let's find the nearest Poker table!"   
  
" Uh, Weasely, We're, he- he. Um sorry, we're in the year 1837." Mcgonagall said.  
  
" Um... Did anyone notice that Severus is missing?" Dumbledore said.  
  
" Dude, he'll die in this heat." Harry said as vultures started to circle overhead.  
  
2 hours later....  
  
" Old gray man, just ain't what he used to be, ain't what he used to be, ain't what he used to be." Dumbledore sang.  
  
" Show me the mean' of bein' lonely." Was what Hermione was singing.  
  
Harry was mumbling something about Jerry Springier re- runs.  
  
Ron was getting everyone annoyed... " I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves everybody's nerves everybody's nerves..."   
  
The heat * REALLY * must have been getting to Mcgonagall, " Where have all the cowboys gone.." She sang.  
  
Snape reappeared. He was dressed like John Wayne.  
  
Everyone snapped out of there trances and stared at Snape.  
  
" Severus, " Mcgonagall asked, " is that you?"  
  
" Yup, " Snape said a mix of American and Welsh accents coming together.  
  
" Are you okay?" Dumbledore asked, walking over to Snape and putting a hand to his forehead.  
  
" I'm fine!" Snape said, " I could use a drink though." He added.  
  
Harry handed him a canteen full of water.  
  
" Nah, I need somethin' with sugar," Snape said grabbing a 2 liter bottle of Surge and draining it in one gulp.  
  
" No one can do that!" Hermione said.  
  
" Yeah, but Ron can eat a whole pizza in one bite. Right R- Not you too!" Harry said looking at Ron who was dressed like cowboy.  
  
" You should talk, Harry, Your clothes changed too, so has everyone's'!"  
  
Ron was right, Snape, Ron, Harry, and Dumbldore looked like John Wayne wanna- be's while Mcgonagall and Hermione, looked like saloon dancers.  
  
" Okay Severus, what. Did. You. Do?!" Mcgonagall demanded.  
  
" I didn't do nothin'!" Snape said pushing his hat back a bit.  
  
While Snape was yelling at Mcgonagall in a country accent three people appeared. A 16 year old girl and two 17 year old boys.  
  
" Well we're gonna have some fun, today, Strider." One of the boys said.  
  
" What the heck does that mean, Bill ?" Strider asked.  
  
" I mean you pick a guy to fight! The old guy's too easy, go for, aha! Go for the guy with the accent." Billy the Kid said, pointing at Snape.  
  
" Huh?"  
  
" The guy yellin' at the dancer!"  
  
" Oh....Kay."  
  
Strider walked over to Snape.  
  
" Excuse me..."   
  
" What?" Snape asked.  
  
" You, me, gun fight, center of town. Now." Strider said.  
  
" What's the prize ?"   
  
" Surviving it."   
  
" Deal."  
  
" He's nuts!" Harry whispered to Ron, as Snape followed Strider to the center of town.  
  
" He's dead." Ron added.  
  
" 1," Strider called, as a crowd started to form around him and Snape.  
  
" 2," Snape called.  
  
" 3!" They both said, turned and fired.  
  
Snape's bullet missed, it went straight through Strider's hat.  
  
" Severus!" Dumbledore said, " Let me warn you, this isn't the movies. This is real!"   
  
" What?" Snape asked. One minute too late. Strider's bullet hit Snape in the chest. Snape collapsed.  
  
" Whooo- hoooo! Yes, I won!" Strider shouted.  
  
Mcgonagall, Dumbledore, Harry, Ron and Hermione ran over to Snape.  
  
Snape's eyes were closed, he wasn't breathing.  
  
Another 2 hours later....  
  
Strider, Bill, and the girl, where celebrating in a saloon.  
  
A figure walked in to the bar and over to where Strider was sitting.  
  
" Whoa!" Strider shouted, " Uh, Bill, we, uh, have a visitor form beyond the grave!"  
  
Snape reached into his pocket and pulled out a bullet.  
  
" Get out!" the girl shouted.  
  
Snape smiled at her then pulled out something else and put it on the table where Strider and Bill where sitting at.  
  
Strider looked at the bullet, it was bloodstained. His eyes turned to the thing Snape had set down on the table. It was a sheriff's badge, it had a hole in the middle, and was bloodstained on the back.  
  
+ I killed a law man! Strider thought.  
  
When Strider looked back at Snape, he only to find him gone.  
  
Back at Hogwarts in the present...  
  
Snape sat down and picked up " Dracula". After about 20 minutes of reading he said to himself, " Man, I'm startin' to like the Afterlife."  
  
Then...  
  
+ Memo to me: Tell the class that I wouldn't caught dead going through the blackboard.  
  
  



End file.
